Tag Archives: Fantasy

My Testimony



From 2008-2016 my weight bounced up and down. I struggled with postpartum depression and depression. I lost myself to the unrealistic expectations of motherhood. I shut down emotionally, physically and even spiritually. The despair, feeling of hopelessness and anger almost consumed me, however God lifted me up and reminded me whose I am. It didn’t happen overnight. There were a lot of tears, prayers and my soul literally crying out to him. In 2015 I went back to therapy and realized that everything that I was feeling was normal and that I had to take time for myself. That was the first step. Since then I’ve walked each day (almost) even in inclement weather and am intentional in what I eat. I know that this is my testimony. This is what God has called me to do, along with writing and being creative. I encourage anyone who reads this post to find your calling and cast your cares on the Lord for he loves you.
#GetNaked #TestimonyformyFatherinHeaven #Godwillbringyoutoittobringyouthroughit #YourbodyisyourTemple
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Are you a priority?


Are you a priority in your  own life? Are your responsibilities screaming at you? Does your family demand so much of your time that you feel invisible? Are you a doer? Meaning you’re the one who people come to for advice, help or whatever? Do you find yourself struggling through something and people constantly complimenting you on how strong you are?

If you answered yes to any of the above than welcome to my world. The demands can be so great on you that you feel like your head will explode. I personally understand how sometimes a person can literally feel like they’re about to burst with rage, anger and sadness. Sometimes the responsibilities, the demands, the constant need is just too much.

What I learned from my therapist is that no matter how much needs to be done, when it’s due, or even who needs it you still have to make time for yourself. Mothers, especially with young children struggle with this because of the heavy demands placed on them. The world tells Mothers that you should do everything for your kids and be happy because they are a blessing. Which is true, however sometimes the demands are so great that you can grow exhausted, become overwhelmed and develop feelings of resentment.

I no longer try to put on the mask that says that I’m happy all the time because quite frankly I’m not. I’m exhausted, overwhelmed and sometimes downright irritated because my children will not cooperate. The great thing about this is now I honor my feelings and I take a break. I make time for myself whether its going for a run/walk, taking a long hot bath uninterrupted, reading or just having a glass of wine. I matter. My time matters and its important for my family to understand that as much as I do for them I need to do for me, too.

That means that you matter, too. Take time for yourself. What do you enjoy? That question stumped me when I went back to therapy because I had stopped doing the things that once interested me because I was so focused on my family. Find out what you love and embrace it in a way that makes sense for you. Everybody’s solution will not work for everyone, although sometimes we can take nuggets and improvise on them to make them work in our world.

Take time for yourself today. You matter.

Pour positivity into yourself


Sisters,

Pour positivity into yourself

Don’t allow others to take all of you and not give something back

Remember you can’t pour from an empty cup. However remember to build your energy stores back up

The Basis of my characters


Each and every one of the characters that I create are based on either something  that I’ve experienced, witnessed, or read about. Being a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend has given me loads to write about. In Escape to Paradise I use my experience with postpartum depression in an exaggerated way to broach the subject. In addition to postpartum depression I exaggerate the need to be everyone’s caretaker. For me this has always been one of my greatest weaknesses. I care too much for others and have paid for it with much emotional pain.

As a former caregiver to my mother and grandmother the stories, experiences and range of emotions that I can share are vast and deep. The helplessness, loneliness, exhaustion, frustration and anger are just the tip of what many caregivers experience and share. When I had my first child the feeling of being overwhelmed, full of love and absolutely terrified of everything consumed me. With Escape to Paradise I have planted these issues deep inside two main female characters and had them act out in such a way that these hurts were brought to the surface.

With the introduction of my two main male characters you get to see how they respond to the female characterizations along with dealing with their own issues and hurts. Life can be a fruitful library of ideas if you know where to look. My great-grandmother taught me the art of people watching and I must say that because of that skill I’ve been able to create some wonderful stories.

If you desire to be an Author or you are a writer try using personal experiences as a point of development in moving the story forward that you want to write. Not everything has to be true only the essence of the situation. Try it and see where it takes you. For me it took me to Escape to Paradise: Book 1 and 2.

Check out Escape to Paradise

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Escape to Paradise: Book 2


A successful corporate attorney, Mia who lives in a historic and stately mansion has her life turned upside down when her sister and her family come to live with her after suffering a major financial setback. Her unemployed sister, Lisa and her husband, Marcus are struggling in an unhappy marriage along with the care of their eleven month old son, Jackson.

After struggling to keep Lisa and Marcus from destroying her home, Mia desperately needs a break and her brother, Jamal comes to her rescue. He sends her to St. Thomas where she meets William, a wealthy casino and real estate developer and sparks fly between them. William is struggling to get over being jilted at the altar in Las Vegas and unwittingly finds himself strongly attracted to Mia. Soon a bond forms between them that will test both of them and their desire for each other.

Check out my latest at http://www.kimberlybatchelordavis.com

 

 

When Life feels weary…


When life makes you weary, the feeling can be overwhelming. It’s an underlying symptom of depression, I believe.  Part of my struggle is that I have a desperate need to be something, other than just a Mom and a Wife. I know I’m an author, community activist, event planner, playwright, etc., but it doesn’t help when you see people around you fulfilling their goals and I’m still struggling with mine. The word tells us to be grateful and thankful for where we are and what we have.

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:2-5.

 

I struggle with this because my gut tells me there is so much more for me. I’ve seen so much and can see myself in such a greater place than where I am now. Unfortunately, I don’t have a fairy godmother who can wave her magic wand and make something instantaneously happen so I create characters and stories in the mean time.  I have to rely on my faith. So I acknowledge my struggles through my characters.

My books deal with disappointment, loss, sadness, forgiveness and peace. Escape to Paradise deals with family stress, disappointment, forgiveness, love, lust and trust. My protagonist Mia deals in her issues of feeling the need of taking care of people all the while ignoring her own needs. That’s a classic case for me. I’ve often said it’s easier for me to address someone else’s situation than it is mine. I even added in a juvenile character to address my struggles in dealing with my children. My boys are both ultra-competitive and it’s literally driving me crazy. They fight over everything. Most days I just want to put them out on a street corner and say “See ya’ wouldn’t want to be ya’.” It’s more than a notion in dealing with those two.

The struggle for peace in one’s life is tough and deeper than what many people believe.  Some days are easier than others, although today feels like I could just curl up in a ball and pull the covers over my head. I know that I can’t hide. Facing my issues and duties is what everyone has to do. I’d just like to be on a beach while the ocean laps at my feet and I write my next story. Continue to press on, write, acknowledge how you feel and pray. God will provide a way.  Seek out counseling Therapists are helpful tools and can assist us in identifying what’s bothering us and why.  Continue to move forward…I am.

 

People Pleasing: How I validate myself…Enough is Enough


Here’s my confession, I’m a people pleaser and I despise myself for it. I’m always going above and beyond for people because that’s what I want people to do for me, however that’s not real life. I was listening to a radio show and the host said “Some of us don’t know how to love ourselves.”
This resonated for me. The host discussed ways in which she showed love to herself through inspirational greeting cards.

I don’t really do anything for myself because I’m always busy doing for others. My days are spent juggling schedules, husband, kids, home and attempting to string some words together in a coherent fashion for an article or a book. Let’s just say that most days it’s a losing proposition. My attention is usually pulled towards the yelling, fighting or some type of disgruntled behavior between two particular little people. Between homework, potty training, discipline and bedtime it can all be a bit much trying to keep up with the Joneses. (You know those mothers who always act like they are doing everything right and you are doing everything wrong).

In my former professional life I struggled with always needing to have my work validated by a superior. After complaining to my former boss that she didn’t give me credit for a project that was well done – she replied that I shouldn’t need anyone’s praise to know that I did a superb job. I said I know that I did a great job, but that it would be nice to be recognized by her. I remember leaving her office feeling dejected and unappreciated. Fast forward to now and it seems like no matter what I still feel unappreciated because the very people who I break my back for are ungrateful. That’s probably harsh because they’re kids, however it doesn’t negate how I feel.

I told someone recently I no longer have a desire to care about other people’s feelings or be polite. That shit hasn’t gotten me anywhere except more and more pissed off. People only do for others what they want to do and it’s usually not even close to what you may want so why do I bother to care because I have a big old sensitive heart that gets broken quite frequently. So as much as I may try to stop being a people pleaser it’s probably always going to be a struggle for me.

I have to love myself enough to know that I did my best no matter what anyone says. Practicing forgiveness is a big part. I’m very hard on myself and I think that’s why I look for others to validate me so I don’t feel like I’m making it up.

If you’re a people pleaser like me try to practice loving on yourself you may just find that your voice is the only one that matters. That’s what I’m working on…

Kimberly Batchelor Davis Mission Statement


Mission Statement

To create content that empowers, empathizes and embraces the struggles of women, writers and motherhood while fostering an environment that can celebrate, inspire and provide a safe place to discuss those issues that concern women, writers and mothers.

Why I went back to work


Why I went back to work is a question I’m asked a lot. I took a job because staying at home with my kids was not mentally engaging me. What I mean is that although I have two little chatterboxes who are very active, there is no opportunity for mental stimulation for me. No participatory conversation that stimulated my linguistic skills, challenged my thought process, or helped to keep my memory sharp. The routine of my kids was lulling me into a lazy state of ambiguity. Kids wake up, feed them, pop in a movie, read a book or play a game it was all the same to me. The monotony of it all began to wear thin on me. I love my children, but I needed something more for me.
Although I would work from home at times, it was always difficult because conference calls would hastily be moved to the bathroom for quiet and working on a computer, I had to balance a laptop and a toddler at the same time. In the beginning it seemed a viable alternative, however the stress of multi-tasking and organizing family and business in the same area just didn’t work anymore.
I found myself dreading the day and looking forward to the time when my children would be asleep. That meant I could work uninterrupted, despite the fact that I was cutting into my precious sleep time. My sleep bank grew more and more depleted each day. Between the battles to get my children to sleep and trying to accomplish my projects—I was simply spent. An outside work environment seemed to be the best option and something crossed my desk that I thought that I would be interested in. It was an industry that I was familiar with. Unfortunately, the position that I desired, I did not get, but I received another offer for another position.
I was elated that I’d be able to leave my house and have adult stimulating conversations. I convinced myself that I’d still be able to come home and give my children their much needed time. For the most part I do give them their time, however the position turned out to not be what I expected. Can you say Boring, uneventful, and totally the opposite of stimulating to say the least, nevertheless, I’m sticking it out until I finish my books and can move on to something better.
I struggle to come home, cook and entertain my family. A mother’s job is never done, no matter if she works in the home or outside of it. Mother’s wear so many hats and balance many plates. No holiday can make up for what Moms give to their families. Although most Mom’s say they just want time for themselves, I believe that’s true, however I believe that we all want a choice in what we do. There should be no pigeon holing in telling a mother to stay at home or go back to work. Whatever you decide to do, soar in your goals. Your children will thrive because you do. My children are doing well now that I’ve gone back to work and that’s a beautiful thing.

Weirdly Delicious


Academy Award Winner, Graham Moore last night spoke about his suicide attempt at the age of 16 and always feeling different. I nodded my head in acknowledgement. There were lots of head nods and clapping last night. Many people agreed with him and understood him. What I wonder is how many people have really felt rejected and misunderstood?

Now, I won’t sit here and say that I’ve been ostracized, but many times I’ve not felt acknowledged. This feeling dates back to when I was a child. I grew up in a home where children were seen and not heard. I know this is one of the reasons that I struggle as a parent. My children are seen and definitely heard. I didn’t develop my voice until I was an adult.

I was never the prettiest, nor the smartest or even the sturdiest. I was clumsy, shy and lacked confidence. I didn’t have many girl friends growing up because there was always some drama. You know get a group of women together and something’s going to get started. I always hung out with guys. Men are easy. They either liked me, not necessarily as a girlfriend, more like a little sister or they didn’t. I was always the fifth wheel when I hung out with my girl cousins. My fashion wasn’t quite right, my hair was never right. I have long hair, always have and every woman who has ever met me or been my friend has always had something negative to say about it. I learned it comes with the territory.

I’ve never been hip, it’s always like the person who tries to hard. I gave up. I don’t have swag, sex appeal or any of those things that my friends have. What I do have is a large vocabulary that I like to flex regularly. However, it always seems to escape me that I’ve missed some cultural anthem that everyone is fixated on. Words, songs, clothes, dances you name it, I’ve probably missed it.

In reality, Graham Moore is right. It’s okay to be different, to celebrate who you are through your individual expressionist means. There are those that like colorful hairstyles, tattoos or body modifications. None of that works for me because as a professional I would never be hired. However, my quirkiness is expressed through the things I care about, such as causes and issues. I’ve been ridiculed and called  a bleeding heart liberal as if it’s some sort of cancer that needs to be eradicated off the planet. Whatever, I always say. Although, its difficult to walk a lonely path, however if my heart tells me its the right one, I’d rather be alone.

As a writer I spend lots of time alone creating worlds and situations that spring forth from my brain. No one understands my passion for writing, why I love Politics the way that I do or volunteer as much as I do. Graham Moore reminded me that I am special, no matter how weird, different or lonely that I feel. It’s okay because people like us bring dimensions, color and variety to the world. To all who’ve felt odd or off there’s a place for you. Seek it out and claim your space.