When life makes you weary, the feeling can be overwhelming. It’s an underlying symptom of depression, I believe. Part of my struggle is that I have a desperate need to be something, other than just a Mom and a Wife. I know I’m an author, community activist, event planner, playwright, etc., but it doesn’t help when you see people around you fulfilling their goals and I’m still struggling with mine. The word tells us to be grateful and thankful for where we are and what we have.
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. James 1:2-5.
I struggle with this because my gut tells me there is so much more for me. I’ve seen so much and can see myself in such a greater place than where I am now. Unfortunately, I don’t have a fairy godmother who can wave her magic wand and make something instantaneously happen so I create characters and stories in the mean time. I have to rely on my faith. So I acknowledge my struggles through my characters.
My books deal with disappointment, loss, sadness, forgiveness and peace. Escape to Paradise deals with family stress, disappointment, forgiveness, love, lust and trust. My protagonist Mia deals in her issues of feeling the need of taking care of people all the while ignoring her own needs. That’s a classic case for me. I’ve often said it’s easier for me to address someone else’s situation than it is mine. I even added in a juvenile character to address my struggles in dealing with my children. My boys are both ultra-competitive and it’s literally driving me crazy. They fight over everything. Most days I just want to put them out on a street corner and say “See ya’ wouldn’t want to be ya’.” It’s more than a notion in dealing with those two.
The struggle for peace in one’s life is tough and deeper than what many people believe. Some days are easier than others, although today feels like I could just curl up in a ball and pull the covers over my head. I know that I can’t hide. Facing my issues and duties is what everyone has to do. I’d just like to be on a beach while the ocean laps at my feet and I write my next story. Continue to press on, write, acknowledge how you feel and pray. God will provide a way. Seek out counseling Therapists are helpful tools and can assist us in identifying what’s bothering us and why. Continue to move forward…I am.